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Being Gracious to Church Visitors

10/28/2019

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This Sunday I am going to visit your church.
​
​Not really. But some people will. How will they be treated by you and your church family?
Would visitors to your church say your fellowship is a place of grace? Would visitors feel welcome just as they are? Is grace a welcome mat at your local church?

Eighty percent of all people attending church are there because someone invited them. Let that statistic sink in. Inviting people to church is a first step in introducing many people to Christ.

Our current culture is in tremendous need of God’s love, mercy and grace. Our society has lost its way. Loving, gracious, caring Christians are effective witnesses for winning the lost to Jesus. Our witness of God’s love and grace in our personal life should be evident in the community and local church
Most likely, you have been a visitor to a church. What were you looking for? How did you hope to be treated by church members? What kind of church experience were you expecting? Most importantly, did the church members treat you graciously?

Bottom line: church visitors are in search mode.

Some are searching for a new church home. Some are searching for the Savior. Some are looking for friends and fellowship in Christ. Some aren’t sure what they are looking for, but they have come through the door.

Grace for all of us means undeserved, unmerited, unconditional favor from God. Visitors are no different than you and me. I need grace. You need grace. Visitors need grace. Everybody needs grace!!!

Generally, visitors are anxious about visiting churches…even those who are mature Christians looking for a church home for all the right biblical reasons. But others cross the church threshold bearing burdens.  Visitors may be battling horrendous things in life. Loss of a loved one. Death of a child. Loneliness, Burnout and depression. Financial setbacks. Divorce. Health issues. Estranged relationships. You name it, heartache, pain and brokenness enter the door of the church with many visitors.

A visitor who is hurting may put a forced smile on their face, but their soul is aching. That’s why church members must see visitors the way Jesus does, as real folks, with real problems, seeking real solutions through a real Savior and real fellowship with those who call themselves Christ followers.

My favorite definition of fellowship is two fellows in the same ship!  My question for all of us in the body of Christ is this: Is our local church a place of grace where people will get in life’s boat with us, whether the ocean of life is calm or a storm is roaring?

 Visitors generally size up you and your church in one visit.

They will compare your church with others they have visited. Throughout my ministry, I have advised and encouraged church seekers to visit a church four times before deciding if this is to be their home. I am not sure how many do that.

Read Acts 2:41-47. Our church forefathers knew how to fellowship in Christ. I would Have loved to have visited and joined their fellowships. Jesus was exalted and praised. Everyone was welcome. Believers were edified and encouraged. And most of all, the church was adding new people to the body of Christ daily! Now that is having church folks!

A grace-filled, loving band of believers makes for a soul-winning church!

Grace Checklist Toward Church Visitors
  • Do you pray for visitors to visit your church? How and what do you pray for them?
  • Do you have a joyful smile on your face when greeting visitors? Do your share a welcoming handshake with them? Do you ask them how you can assist them and their family while on campus?  
  • Do you accept with unconditional l love and grace everyone who enters the church doors? No matter how they look? No matter what they say or don’t say? Whether you think they
    “fit” your fellowship or not? Is everyone welcome in your heart and eyes?
  • Do you avoid visitors? Or do you go out of your way to engage them in a non-threating, welcoming way?
  • Do you make it easy and comfortable for a visitor to talk with you? Are you open to them sharing something about themselves with you if they choose to do so?  
  • Is there a gracious atmosphere in your church? Grace is the oil of positive, healthy, mutually satisfying relationships.  
  • Do you treat visitors with the grace you would like to be treated with if you were visiting the church? The Golden Rule of grace is a good idea.
  • Would visitors say you treated them warmly, sincerely and in a gracious, friendly manner?
  • Would visitors to your church say your fellowship is a place of grace? Would visitors feel welcome just as they are? Is grace a welcome mat at your local church?
Search your heart fellow Christian. Are you a gracious church member that greets and treats visitors with the grace of God?

This weekend, at your church, reach out graciously to a newcomer to your fellowship.

“He that wins souls is wise.”
Proverbs 11:30
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Be Gracious to Church Members

10/21/2019

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Church.
​What do you think about when you think about your local church? I hope good thoughts. Positive things.
But sadly, churches can be graceless places when its members are ungracious to one another.

I have met people as a pastor and in counseling settings where they have shared with me that their deepest and most disturbing hurt and heartache came from church members. Certainly, the world will hurt God’s people. But God’s people hurting, disappointing, and discouraging each other, this should not be.
Church member fights can be bitter, brutal and bloody.

What are some of the weapons of  church turf warfare? Gossip. Slander. Backbiting. Evil speaking. Complaining. Criticizing. Judging.  Competing. Comparing. Jealously, Envy. Strife.  Rumors. Character assassination. Personal agendas. Power plays. Division. Destructive, worldly, carnal misconduct that has no place in the house of the Lord.

James exhorts Christians to refrain from complaining and quarrelling. “Do not complain, brethren, against one another, that you yourselves may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing right at the door.”
James 5:9


“And the Lord’s bond servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged.”
2 Timothy 2:24


From my forty years of experience in pastoring, there is no doubt in my mind that gossip, evil speaking and slanderous speech in the church is the greatest threat to grace among members. The Bible has something to say about gossip.

Paul writes in II Corinthians 12:20 “For I am afraid that perhaps when I come I may find you to be not what I wish and may be found by you not what you wish; that perhaps there may be strife, jealousy, angry tempers, disputes, slanders, gossip, arrogance and disturbances.”

Other biblical references regarding evil speaking and gossip: Ephesians 4:31, Titus 3:1-2, James 3:6, 4:11. I Peter 2:1, Psalm 34:13, Proverbs 13:3, 21:23, 16:28, 26:22, 10:18, 11:9.
  
One of Satan’s chief evil strategies is to split the church of Jesus Christ. The devil is a disrupter, divider and a dastardly deceiver who dupes unsuspecting believers into church turf wars. The evil one takes sick pleasure in inciting members to be at each other’s throats. 

The Apostle Paul has a counter strategy for resisting the divisive tactics of Satan.
 
 “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling of which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace. There is one body, and one Spirit, just as you were all called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through and in all.” 
Ephesians 4:1-5


Believers in Christ have unity in Him. They are to maintain it. Graciousness promotes unity. Ungraciousness in the body of Christ promotes division.

A commitment to unity in Christ, and maintaining it, will keep church members treating each other with grace and walking in peace with one another.

Being Gracious To Church Members
  • Pray for fellow church members and attenders. We really do need each other’s prayers.
  • If you have a problem with a church member, humbly go to them to work out your differences (Matthew 5:23-24) Reconciliation and restoration of relationships is always God’s will for His people.
  • Never, never, never gossip about someone in the church. Never, never, never listen to some who is gossiping about someone at church. Flee from gossipers!
  • Quit quarreling and complaining against brothers and sisters in Christ. Stop griping about and criticizing them.
  • Believe the best, never the worst. about a church member.
  • Speak well of church members to fellow church members. Never cut down a fellow member. When you are with other members.  
  • Be an encourager, never a discourager to fellow church members. Lift and build-up your brothers and sisters in Christ. Everyone needs and appreciates encouragement!
  • Always speak well of your church and fellow church members in the community. Never give the devil opportunity to hurt your church because or your ungracious words about someone at church.
  • If you have been ungracious at church, get on your knees before the Lord, repent, receive forgiveness, make right the wrongs you have done, and commit yourself to be a gracious church member in the future.
  • Thank God for your church and fellow church members. You are blessed to be part of a loving, caring, church home. Do your part to keep it that way.
Christians are brothers and sisters in Christ. Jesus is our elder brother. God is our Father. The Holy Spirit is our Helper. So why, why, do we sometimes treat each other without grace? 

How about you my fellow Christian? Are you gracious to your brothers and sisters in Christ? Do you treat them with the lovingkindness, mercy, and grace of Jesus? Would fellow church members and your pastor say you are a gracious Christian at church?

Choose to never be a graceless, sour grape Christian whose face looks like you have been baptized in lemon juice!  

Time for a heart check folks. Don’t be deceived Christ follower. Refuse to think more highly of yourself than you should. especially regarding your conduct toward fellow believers.

A gracious church, full of gracious members, is a wonderful thing to behold!

“You therefore my son be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.”
2 Timothy 2:1
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