Who Are You Trying To Please?

​I hear often from people who come for restoration counseling that they are a “people pleaser.” Upon hearing details of their self-confession, I ask them how is that working out for you?  Their sheepish response is something like this: “Not very well!”
 
All of us desire and need to be accepted by people. God put within us a longing to belong.
           
Love, acceptance and approval from others is a core need of our heart. But when our need for love, acceptance and approval from people is obsessive to the point where we live our life only to please others, we will be disappointed, and ultimately, become emotionally unhealthy.  
           
The Apostle Paul had the right perspective on who we should seek to please.
 
“But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts.” I Thessalonians 2:4
 
Paul certainly respected people and labored as a witness for Jesus in a winsome manner to win those were winnable to Christ (see I Corinthians 9:19-23, I Corinthians 10:33, Romans 15:2). Paul did his best to lovingly persuade men and women to receive the Lord. In doing so, Paul remembered that God (not men) approved of Him and entrusted him with sharing the Good News.
 

• Paul was a caring, bold, persuasive witness for the Lord because he lived his Christian life, not as a people pleaser, but as a God pleaser.

 
Note he said he spoke (preached and taught) to please the One who examines the heart. Paul knew his heart belonged to the Lord and God would hold him accountable for his life and ministry.
 
I am convinced from experience that if you and I live to please people, we will be disappointed. Again and again! If we live our life to please God, you and I will never be disappointed “For the Scripture says, “whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” (Romans 10:11). I love this truth!
 

• If is not possible for God to let us down or disappoint us when our daily desire is to live to please Him

 
Why Being A People Pleaser Won’t Work
 

• People are fickle. One moment they approve of you, the next, not so much.  
• People are struck on themselves and do not care that much about you.
• People cannot be pleased because they keep moving the bar of approval. You can never please people who expect you to please them.
• People do not know your heart and may misjudge your motives.
•  Some people will never be pleased with you because they are not pleased with themselves.
• “People pleasing” sacrifices my identity and sabotages my self-respect.
• “People pleasing” is a certain pathway to disappointment, discouragement and disillusionment with the human race.  I heard a couple of Amens!

 
Why Being a God Pleaser Works
 

• God loves you and is pleased with you because of His Son Jesus Christ.  
• God takes immense pleasure and delight in you as His child.  
• You and I do not have and cannot earn God’s approval because we have it through faith in Jesus...
• God knows our heart like no person can. His judgment is just, right and true.
• Pleasing God is His good, acceptable and perfect will for our lives.
• There is no greater joy than to start your day by committing yourself to please God in thought, word and deed.
• Pleasing God reaps awesome rewards that no man could ever bestow upon us. 

           
People pleaser or God pleaser…which one are you?
 
It took me years in my adult life to conquer the emotional desire/need to please people. Even as a born-again. Spirit-empowered Christian and minister of the Gospel, I wrestled with people pleasing. I wanted people in my ministry to like me. I think I am very likable. Even lovable.
 

• But instead of being who the Lord has made me; I had this thing in me that erroneously felt let I had to prove in some way that I was worthy of people’s love and approval.

 
Guess what?  People I tried to please could not be pleased! The Lord revealed to me to keep my eyes on Him, love people and fulfill the calling on my life. Freedom from people pleasing has been a major growth point in my personal life. I live daily to please God and minister to people who are open to receive God’s Word and live for His pleasure.
 
APPLICATON: Take a time out. Get quiet before God. Ask the Holy Spirit to search your heart. Let the Lord point out if you are living to please people or God. Make whatever lifestyle adjustments you need to make to live a life that is pleasing to God.
 
Think about it. Because of God’s great love for you and me, it should be easy (a no brainer if you will!) to live to please Him!  
 
A Word For Your Week: Pleasing God is the pathway to a fruitful, fulfilling, satisfying life.